The day before his death, a graduating senior wrote a letter to his mom about everything he learned at Creighton

By Micah Mertes

On May 10, 1986, about a week before he would have graduated from Creighton, Jerry Pfeifer, BS’86, was killed in a car accident.

The following week, at Creighton commencement, the University paid a special tribute to his mother and stepfather — Alice and Edward Ramaekers of Norfolk, Nebraska. (Jerry’s biological father had died in a work-related accident many years prior.)

Shortly before Jerry’s death, his mother had asked him what he learned over his four years at Creighton.

“He didn’t really answer me that day,” Alice said in 1986. “Jerry was always a deep thinker.”

On May 9, 1986, the day before his death, Jerry wrote and sent his parents a letter answering his mother's question.

With the Pfeifer family’s permission, we’re sharing Jerry Pfeifer’s letter in its entirety ahead of 2023 commencement. Not only to honor Jerry and his family, but to spotlight one of the most loving and beautifully expressed things we’ve ever read about the University, from a graduating senior overcome with joy at all of life’s possibilities.

(We’ve included the full text of the letter below, but first ... a little more context.)

Shortly after Jerry’s death, his parents later shared that letter with Creighton, and — with the Ramaekers’ permission — Creighton published it in the Window magazine that fall, along with a message from Alice and Edward.

The Pfeifer/Ramaekers family have since made many photocopies of that page over the years, as the words of Jerry and his parents would take on even greater significance in 2002, when Alice and Edward Ramaekers were killed (along with two friends) in a car accident on their way home from a vacation.

If Alice, Edward and Jerry’s words are a reminder of two family tragedies, they're also both a testament to three extraordinary people and a way to keep alive their memory.

“What I remember most about Jerry is his sense of adventure,” says Jerry’s brother Terry Pfeifer, in a phone call from his home in Grand Island. “And he had a wonderful experience at Creighton because of it.

“Jerry’s world really expanded there, when he did the mission trips, when he joined local community outreach. He was a biology major and intended to go to medical school and become a physician, but first he planned to join the Peace Corps.”

Terry saw the impact Jerry had made at Creighton by the sheer number of students who showed up to his funeral — at least 100 (many Jerry's fraternity brothers from Pi Kappa Alpha). And, of course, the words of Jerry’s posthumously published letter touched the lives of thousands more.

“What I got out of Jerry’s letter in particular, and this is something I’ve repeated a thousand times over the last 37 years, is that one person can make a difference,” Terry says.

“When you sift through the graduation ceremonies and the speeches, it’s easy to think about how all this talk of ‘let’s go out and change the world’ is just a little too fluffy to be real. But then 40 years pass, and you come to understand just how true it is, just how much you can do for people.”

Terry and his wife Julie have six children, the eldest three Creighton alumni themselves — Lyndie Pfeifer-Rouse, BA’08; James Pfeifer, BA’09; and Michael Pfeifer, BA’15. They were the first in the extended family to attend the University since their uncle Jerry.

At each of the Pfeifer siblings’ graduations, their parents have given them a copy of Jerry’s letter along with their gift.

“The idea,” Terry says, “has always been to share with them a few words about Jerry’s life and how the letter he wrote might apply to what they were feeling and the lives they were about to lead.”

Jerry Pfeifer’s letter (written — on Creighton University stationery — on May 9, 1986):

Dear Mother and Father,

Good day! How is everything at the ol' homesite? Things are going great here with me. How exciting it is around here with everyone finishing school and getting ready for summer, especially graduation. My finals went real well. I wanted to finish strong, and I believe I have.

I've been thinking a lot about the question you asked concerning what I had learned at Creighton in the past few years. Thanks for caring, mom, because I've learned so much and experienced so much joy and want to share it so much. Well, here are a few of the highlights.

I feel a great sense of accomplishment in completing my biology degree. Learning both the details and the breadth of this beautiful world God has created has made me feel so much more a part of that beauty. I feel I received a well-rounded education, developing mentally, physically, and spiritually. What is so neat is I feel I have a grasp on my world and a much better understanding of this human race. It seems like a smaller world now, with real people everywhere experiencing real problems and trying to deal with them as best as they know how. Many blunders and absurdities, no doubt, but much more courage and hope.

My personal growth has been a dream come true. I've certainly learned responsibility, but also that responsibility need not be a burden. Along with responsibility comes freedom, freedom to find out who Jerry Pfeifer really is, what is special about him and why he was put upon this earth.

I've learned to accept others for what they are at this point in their lives, realizing that anybody can find the faults in a person, but it's quite another thing to look past them and bring out the beauty within them. It is only when we can love ourselves and be accepted by others that we can work on our faults and share love with others.

I've learned that my little world isn't one to be protected and guarded against my flaws. It is to be opened up to share myself and my life with the ones I love and, perhaps, with the ones I don't. I've learned what a beautiful family I have, such understanding parents, so many wonderful brothers and sisters, with a feeling of home wherever I am as I carry them all in my heart.

I guess I've just learned to see. To open my eyes to all the good we have to share, to all the people who long for care.

I've learned that dreams really do come true if you believe in them, that the world is ours, that we were made for enjoyment and the world is filled with things which we will enjoy if we will only do our part, reach out beyond ourselves, and let Jesus Christ be the Lord of our lives.

Happy Mother's Day, mom!

Love always,

Jerry

*  * * 

In memory of Jerry

The year after Jerry's death, his brother Terry and 10 of Jerry's high school friends started the Jerry Pfeifer Memorial Fund to provide scholarships at Norfolk Catholic High School. They started awarding scholarships in 1999 and will award the 23rd scholarship in May. About a quarter of the students who have received the scholarship have ended up attending Creighton.

"It’s another example of Jerry’s legacy continuing to impact Creighton and the world to this day," says Terry Pfeifer.